The Day I stabbed my left hand through and through.

Post by Donna Freebury

Let me paint you a picture that every backyard grill warrior has lived at least once: It’s dinner time, the grill’s screaming hot, the family’s hungry, and you reach into the freezer only to discover your “perfectly portioned” hamburger patties have fused into one solid, unyielding block of beefy defiance.

You grab the biggest, sharpest butcher knife in the drawer — because obviously this is a job for a blade that could fell a redwood — and you start hacking away like you’re auditioning for a horror movie titled Frozen Patty Massacre.

The knife slips on the icy surface faster than you can say “medium-rare,” and suddenly you’re explaining to the ER nurse why you thought prying apart frozen ground beef with a 10-inch blade was a solid life choice.

Here’s the public service announcement you didn’t know you needed:

1.  Microwave defrost (30–60 seconds, flip halfway)

2.  Cold water bath in a sealed bag (10–15 minutes)

3.  Plan ahead next time and separate patties with parchment paper before freezing (the adult move)

Grill safely, friends. The burgers aren’t worth the trip to urgent care. Or not being able to use a hand for months and months. I know this for a fact